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She put her hand to her mouth, realising the cruelty of her words, when in truth, she’d been thinking of Jack’s need to be Odette’s hero in particular, at the expense of Katherine. Indeed, she’d been unable to think of anything else.
“Darling, don’t imagine I intended to be the slightest bit cutting. It’s just that Jack is everybody’s hero. He’s always there to do the right thing.” She blinked hazily at her large, oafish son. “I mean, unlike you, he’ll put himself out for a good cause. Oh, that wasn’t at all meant to be cruel, either, George darling, but you were never hero material, were you? Which isn’t to say I don’t love you. You’re my son, after all.”
She patted him on the arm for he did seem to have taken her words in quite the wrong way. She tried to explain herself without wounding him further. “I mean, George darling, you were such a very needy little boy, and that’s why we thought Jack would be good for you. Jack had had no advantages, unlike you. We thought he’d build you up. And yes, he benefitted, but we did it all for you. You mustn’t look down on him—”
“I don’t.” His words were clipped. “And do you think I profited having Jack as my moral guide, Mama?”
“Darling, no need to sound aggressive. You have always liked Jack, haven’t you?”
“Like a brother, Mama, though, like you, I’m sure he thought me oafish and…lacking.”
“I never expected anything more given your father—” Antoinette stopped abruptly, putting her hand to her lips, for the words seemed to have flown out without a care when Antoinette had spent her life being so very careful. At least where George’s parentage was concerned.
“What do you mean by that, Mama?”
He looked puzzled, though surely he could not have interpreted anything from what she’d said?
“Oh, pay me no mind, George. Though I will tell you I was extremely disappointed to hear that you were the instigator of that terrible wager that encouraged Freddy to run off with Katherine all those years ago.”
“You were entirely complicit in ensuring Katherine married Freddy, Mama, so please don’t put all the blame at my door.”
Antoinette dropped her gaze to her feet. “Well, it hardly makes it any better, George, does it? I love Katherine like my own daughter. I would never have caused her unhappiness if she hadn’t led me to believe she was madly in love with Freddy Marwick.” On a wave of spite, she added, “You, on the other hand, have always been so jealous of your cousin, haven’t you? You couldn’t bear it that anyone other than you should get a jot of affection and interest because that meant there was less for you. As if love were a finite thing
.”
“Oh, you never led me to believe that, Mama. You had all the love in the world to spread around. I’ve seen it my whole life; that bountiful, endless flow of love you’ve bestowed upon my tutor, the actor who was giving Papa lessons. So much love, but not a kiss or caress that was heartfelt have you shown my father—”
“Oh, for God’s sake, he’s not your father!”
The words seemed to snap his head back. George stared, and Antoinette was left feeling like a tiny little star swirling in a morass of confusion. What had she said?
She closed her eyes as she tried to decide what to do now. Surely she hadn’t blurted out the one secret it was imperative she keep?
Vaguely, she waved a hand in his direction as she sought for something with which to change the subject. “Ah, here comes Odette and I’m sure Lord Derry won’t be long. I can’t imagine what they were doing at the bottom of the stairs in the dark. Bertram, I thought you’d completely forgotten you even had a sister. No, don’t offer George any. He’s had far too much. He can’t seem to remember anything properly, and I’ve asked him three times already to fetch me another glass of champagne.”
Chapter 28
Katherine didn’t usually rise late, but this morning she was in no mood to get up at the insistent knocking on her bedchamber door, before her maid entered in some excitement waving a letter which she informed her mistress must be responded to immediately.
It took only a moment for the fuzziness to clear from Katherine’s brain. Truly, she’d existed in a cloud of grief, barely able to sleep until the early hours of the morning, and the urgency in Mary’s voice brought with it her greatest hope.
“Jack?” she cried before she could censor herself, though fortunately Mary hadn’t seemed to notice, thrusting what turned out to be a hastily scrawled letter into her hands.
Eagerly, Katherine scanned the salutation and immediately her hopes plummeted.
George! It was from George!
She reread the note while fury roiled inside.
“Please, miss, the rider wot brought it is waitin’ fer an answer.”
Katherine focused a gimlet eye on Mary. “Tell the rider,” she said, crisply, “that he can gallop right back where he came from with the message that I will not be jumping in any carriage—Papa’s or Lord Quamby’s—if it’s to find myself anywhere in the vicinity of where George is. And certainly not after what he’s just revealed.”
Mary’s eyebrows shot upwards, and she opened her mouth to speak before closing it firmly with a nod. “Very good, ma’am. Though p’haps ye’d better put that in writin’. I ain’t convinced the young boy wot brought the message is goin’ ter remember all that.”
Once Mary had left to deliver her mistress’s letter, Katherine plumped up her pillows and unfolded the crumpled paper to reread it.
She fisted her hand and put it in her mouth while she tried to regulate her heartbeat. Of all the audacity, this was the most brazenly outrageous George had ever been. Well, he’d confessed to part of his crime, she supposed, though it hadn’t been difficult all those years ago to guess he’d had a role in the bad business that had forged her to Freddy with no way out.
